It’s a glib phrase that we trot out when someone asks us “How’s it going”. “Oh, you know, I’m still finding my feet”, we reply, whilst actually looking at them and shifting uncomfortably from one to the other.
It’s a lot easier than saying “Actually, I have no idea what’s going on, I don’t feel like I know what I am doing and I am in a whole world of pain and confusion” and it won’t make them run away quickly and point at you from the other side of the room.
It can be hugely disorienting when you leave the Mothership. Suddenly, all of your familiar anchors are gone. Instead, you spend most of your time doing things that are new, that you don’t understand and that you feel an incompetent beginner at. Because you are.
In time, you will resolve some of these. You will master these new skills, you will develop a new routine, put some anchors back in your life and get some sense of control. You will find your feet.
Or rather, you will stabilise yourself. You will achieve some sort of equilibrium, find some sort of halfway house between your life on the Mothership and your new life outside. However, still tied to the past and not yet committed to the future, you will not thrive and grow.
The problem is, you don’t need to find your feet. You need to find yourself.
Only then can you start to move forward and build a new chapter of your life.